


Centerfold

by chaostheoryy



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Dirty Talk, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Flirting, M/M, Shore Leave, bar shenanigans
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-22
Updated: 2016-09-22
Packaged: 2018-08-16 14:43:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,881
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8106328
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chaostheoryy/pseuds/chaostheoryy
Summary: When all else fails in his attempt to turn down an obnoxious young man at a bar, Leonard McCoy finds himself relying on the wits and quick tongue of James Tiberius Kirk.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Title based on the song by The J. Geils Band":
> 
> "I was shakin' in my shoes  
> Whenever she flashed those baby-blues  
> Something had a hold on me  
> When angel passed close by"

The best part of shore leave was the bar. No matter where they docked, no matter how wild the location, nothing could beat the feeling that came from downing a few glasses of throat-scorching alcohol. 

Space travel was stressful for Bones as it was, but being the Chief Medical Officer in charge of the health of every single crew member on board only made it worse. So of course he was going to take advantage of his shore leave and let loose with a couple of drinks. Unfortunately for him, the sight of a single Starfleet officer sitting at the bar was an unspoken invitation for some very unwanted attention.

"What's a handsome officer like you doing by himself?"

Bones looked up from his glass to find a young man, no more than 27 years old, beaming at him as he took a seat on the empty bar stool beside him. With striking green eyes and a pearly white smile, most anyone would be dying to simply chat with the man, let alone have him hit on them. Bones, on the other hand, couldn't care less about him.

"Enjoyin' my time off ship," he replied, mindlessly thumbing at the rim of his glass, "Time that I won't be able to get back if I miss out on it now."

Bones threw the young man a glance, hoping he'd take the hint. His counterpart, however, seemed to have taken the comment as a challenge to win the CMO over.

"Where's the fun in drinking alone?"

Bones scoffed. "Who said anything about havin' fun? I'm looking for some peace and quiet not a carnival."

The man chuckled and licked his lips suggestively. "I could give you both, y'know," he murmured, leaning in to brush his fingers over Bones' sleeve, "A little fun and keep it quiet." He raised his brow playfully, practically biting his lip. "Or I could scream your name and beg for you if you'd like."

Bones recoiled like a defensive snake, his brow furrowing at the suggestion. "Or you could back off and leave me the hell alone," he hissed. 

"Oh come on, big guy," the man persisted as he tried to run his hands over Bones' thigh, "There's nothing wrong with being a little kinky."

Bones inhaled sharply and glared at the man. "I swear to God, if you don't move your grimy hand off me, I'll-"

The man cocked his brow. "You'll what? Spank me?" He chuckled deeply and dragged his palm down Bones thigh. "Normally, I'd say no. But for you, I might make an exception."

Bones was ready to burst. His skin was crawling, his whole body itching to let out all those months of stress and frustration. He wanted to punch the man, to drive his fist into his teeth and watch him bleed. He would have too if it weren't for Jim Kirk.

Just as Bones was about to rise and beat the snot out of the man, a pair of strong arms wrapped around his waist and a familiar voice spoke into his ear, "You alright, babe? This guy bothering you?"

Bones swivelled around to find Jim standing next to him, a gentle smile on his lips. It only took one glance, one brief second of locked eyes for Bones to figure out Jim's plan. It was a wild idea, one the CMO would have shot down on a regular basis if it had ever been proposed. But right now, having Jim Kirk act as his lover was all he had.

With a forced smile, Bones shook his head, reaching out to hook his arm around Jim's middle and pull him close. "Not really," he said casually before giving the young captain a once-over, "Though I was beginning to wonder if I'd ever get a chance to see those baby blues of yours tonight."

A pleasant hum escaped Jim's lips as he stepped forward and leaned into Bones' grasp. To the older man's surprise, however, Jim didn't stop there - he closed the gap completely and climbed right into Bones' lap. "Treat me right and that's not all I'll let you see tonight."

Bones could feel his heart skip a beat, all but tumbling against his rib cage in an attempt to free itself from the shock his body had fallen prey to. Jim Kirk was in his lap. And he wasn't just sitting there either. He was pressing himself up against Bones like a minx, arms wrapping around the CMO's neck and hips rubbing against Bones' torso. A part of him wanted to stop him, to end the charade and deal with this the proper way rather than pretend to be romantically entangled with his best friend. The other part of him, however, knew that he had no other choice. The man beside him wasn't going to simply walk away. He needed to see that Bones' interest lie elsewhere.

"Don't you go on teasing me like that, darlin'. It drives me crazy." Committing fully to their plot, Bones slid his hand up the back of Jim's shirt and traced his way up the firm line of his spine. Every ridge of his protruding disks rolled naturally beneath his fingertips, giving the situation a strange sense of intimacy. He'd never touched Jim like that before, never taken the time to admire his build. But now, with his palm caressing his partner's shoulder blade, he couldn't help but yearn to discover more.

Jim didn't flinch, even as Bones' unsolicited hand slides down his back to tease his fingertips beneath his waistline of his jeans. In fact his eyes seemed to gleam at the daring move. "I know it does," Jim responded as he arched his back into Bones' touch, "And I know how much it makes you want me..."

That was when Jim did something Bones had never even dreamt of. With a roll of the hips and half-hooded eyes, Jim leaned in and slowly dragged his tongue over Bones' lips. 

Every molecule in Bones' body screamed, some of them in absolute horror at the situation, the rest in unadulterated excitement. The contact was sexual in every way possible. It didn't matter if Jim was fooling around or not, Bones and everyone around them could only register the move as sexual advancement. It felt so real too, so much so that it was almost impossible to remind himself it was all an act.

The most terrifying part, however, was that he wished it wasn't. He loved the feeling of Jim's weight pressing down upon his lap, loved the idea of being wanted as much as Jim pretended to. The two of them were just friends, he knew that, but he honestly could not deny the fact that he craved something more. Jim was, afterall, the single most attractive man Bones had ever met and, despite his neverending shit-storm of positivity and pestering, Bones genuinely loved the kid. Maybe a little too much for his own good... 

"Whataya think," Jim whispered, leaning in to ghost his lips against Bones ear, "You wanna pin me up against the wall? Wanna mark me up and make me beg for you?" Bones nearly gasped as the hot air of Jim's breath caressed his inner ear like an enticing siren. "Mmm... I bet you'd love to see me squirm, bet you'd wanna pin my arms over my head and leave me helpless and oh so hungry for that cock of yours." 

Bones swallowed hard, his heart hammering in his chest like a raging bull trapped in a cage. Jim was talking dirty. And God was he good at it. He painted clear pictures in the CMO's head, images of them kissing and teasing one another in ways Bones had never dreamed of. Jim didn't hold anything back either. He kept on going, talking about how much he wanted Bones to fuck him, how badly he wanted to drop to his knees and blow the older man like his life depended on it. Every idea he placed in Bones' head, every suggestion, was wonderfully filthy. It was no wonder why Bones couldn't stop the burn of arousal that began to stir in his core.

"Easy, baby," Bones managed to chide in a calm tone, slyly adjusting Jim in his lap, "We don't need everyone in the bar to hear." 

Jim smirked and straightened up to the point where Bones nearly had to crane his neck to maintain eye contacr. "Why not? The whole town's gonna hear me once I've got you pressed into me anyway."

It took every ounce of control Bones had not to moan out loud at the thought Jim's words produced. He hadn't been explicit in his description but damn it was too filthy to hear. And, judging by how quick the man beside them scurried off, it was enough to convince anyone that Jim was serious about taking Bones home with him.

The aging doctor watched as the arrogant son of a bitch slunk away from them in defeat. The relief that washed over him when the man exited the building was so consuming that he leaned back and let out a long sigh. It was over. The endless persistence of the man, the act of being Jim's boyfriend - it was all over.

Or at least he thought so.

When Bones turned his attention back to Jim to thank him for saving his ass, he was surprised to find the young captain still sitting comfortably in his lap with a hungry look in his eye. 

"You wanna get outta here?" Jim murmured, his thumb ghosting over the flesh just above Bones' collar.

Bones' brow immediately furrowed, eyes widening ever so slightly at the question. "He's gone, Jim," he replied, concerned that maybe Jim hadn't realized they were in the clear yet. It was possible that Jim had gotten so caught up in the act that he hadn't even bothered to pay the man any attention. Afterall, all he was interested in at the time was seducing his CMO which, Bones refused to admit out loud, had worked a little too well. 

But, to Bones' surprise, Jim didn't climb out of his lap or crack any kind of snarky smile. In fact, he leaned closer and licked his lips like a stalking jaguar as he stared Bones down. "I know." 

Bones' heart lept, his breath catching in his throat. The gentle burn he'd felt spark up earlier spiked red-hot and all hope of keeping his calm flew right out the window. Jim was actually flirting with him. This wasn't an act. He was actually suggesting the two of them disappear somewhere private where Bones could do things he never thought he'd be able to do to Jim Kirk.

For a moment all Bones could do was stare at his counterpart in disbelief. Then, after his brain finally came to terms with what had been offered, Bones' hands found their way to Jim's hips and he whispered, "Yes."

It was a hoarse plea, one that he hoped communicated just how much he wanted what Jim was suggesting. And, judging by the smirk that tugged at Jim's lips, he was certain that Jim not only knew that, but that he was going to give the good doctor everything and more.


End file.
